Andy & Linda East

Andy & Linda East

Do I have to agree with you?

Written by Andy East

During the past few weeks we have been looking more and more about what Honour means. We probably link other meanings such as “respect” or “deferring”, but if honour has any meaning at all, it has to be meaningful in relationships. It is the essential cross bond in the structures of relationships that make them beautiful and 3 dimensional.

We are learning that to honour somebody is to see the true value in them and that if you approach interactions with that in mind, you will have a biblical and foundational approach to every relationship. Simply put, it is seeing what God put there, and seeing that as good. You can then “treasure the treasure”.

But, wait a minute – I can already see a problem. If a culture develops where “only nice things are said”, we will soon turn into a monochrome expression where everyone has to say things that are thought of as “affirming” and disagreement becomes viewed as entirely negative.

How can I honour you if I dislike the way you go about something, or our opinions are not in alignment? Worse still, what happens if you are in leadership and I disagree with you? How can honour still operate? Scary!

Thankfully, this is no issue. You know that there is one scripture that always gets quoted with regard to agreement. Yep you’ve guessed it: Amos 3:3 “How can two walk together unless they agree”?

Oh great – does that mean we have got to agree if we are to walk together in this honour stuff?

No – actually, it doesn’t.

Thankfully, the word “agree” actually means, “to meet” or “assemble” or even “meet by appointment”

Mmm …nothing here about making you see things my way! This should bring a lot of freedom, and if put into practice, will actually help honour to grow.

Imagine this: You have seen the treasure in me and I have seen the treasure in you. We are thrown together in the local work and rub shoulders a lot… so, we are already demonstrating the first part of Amos 3:3. We are “walking” and we are “together”. Honour in relationship is operating. But then, inevitably, we then see something with two differing viewpoints. We just plain disagree.

How does Amos 3:3 indicate we should deal with this? By battling it out until one aligns with the other? Not really. It seems that in order to continue to walk together, we should meet and we should sit together, share heart, and be purposeful about this.

But, we don’t meet with an agenda to change the other’s view. No, we meet to invest in our relationship. The difference of opinion gets a well – deserved relegation, because you are doing the one thing that is needful to engage in Kingdom work. I guess Amos 3:3 could read like this “how can two people journey from one place to another in a unified way, unless they take the time to sit and meet with each other”

Now, I can live with that.