“What is God doing to me?” – my quote to Clive at the encounter weekend in July 2017!
I had been aware of a transformation within for some time, including a prophecy in March 2017 that I was turning into a beautiful butterfly – into what God had created me to be. Into my calling, not what I thought society wanted me to be.
This testimony takes me from rock bottom (4 years ago) when I realised how unhappy I was despite being seemingly successful, to a place where I really found out how much God loved me and wanted to rescue me from my ego and worldly ways. He had been trying to get my attention 3 years previous to this when my son was born. I was in the lift at Birmingham Women’s hospital holding my new born son. I heard Jesus say in my right ear ‘see how much you love this boy, well I love you even more’. However, it took me a while to get the message. God is so patient with us and has his timing – but he will never let us down.
Three and a half years ago having realised I had hit rock bottom I was walking into town knowing that I needed to go to church. I had crossed over the main road near Tesco’s aiming for Bell Street Church when God turned my head right and said “go in there” – meaning go into Fathers House – “they will know how to help you come closer to me”. So in I went and it was just what I needed.
Since this wonderful day he has been working on me through Alpha course, Freedom in Christ and encounter weekends. He has given me wonderful friends who are like brothers and sisters who have supported me through this time. Slowly but surely he has stripped my ego, arrogance and misguided belief of what my life should be like.
I left my high status chief officer role and become self-employed delivering art sessions in care homes and cleaning people’s homes. He has humbled me so that I can understand my strengths and weaknesses and put me in situations to shape me into what his heart wants me to be. My compassion has gone from poor to excellent and my empathy with others helps me bring light into older people’s lives. I am not concerned about impressing others, being cooped up in an office buried in paperwork, and having status and money.
He has shown me my path step by step revealing things over time. For example in 2015 I had started painting again and was hitting the canvas most weeks. I had completed an interesting pink abstract and was researching local gallery’s exhibitions. I found the Sussex Artist Awards website and God said go for it. I spoke to my family and they said that’s a long way to go to submit a painting, think of the fuel. God said go for it! I submitted the painting making a weekend of it with my son. While I was in Chichester God made me notice a Christian Book shop and I quickly found the book I needed at that point in time. Max Lucado ‘A love worth giving’. Anyway the painting got highly recommended and was sold. Thank you God.
I have been ill this year and currently undergoing my second operation, this has been a waiting game for me and I see this as a test of patience and part of my transformation. He keeps us strong during difficult times and keeps us calm (during one ambulance visit and one Accident and Emergency visit).
He has given me the strength and courage to get out of a comfort zone and explore my real purpose. He has planted ideas as seeds in my head and shown me where I can go in the future. For example I am now studying for an MSc in Strategic management which I would never have thought of before. The purpose of which is to shine the light on areas of confusion and weakness in business, to help people see the truth and focus on what is important – very exciting.